Love, Romance, and Marriage by Choice – An Islamic and Social Perspective
By: Zaheer Ahmad Awan
The Islamic family system is one of the most balanced and comprehensive systems in the world. It establishes a social structure based on dignity, responsibility, modesty, and mutual respect. Every relationship whether that of a mother, sister, daughter, wife, or husband — has its defined rights and responsibilities, ensuring harmony and moral order within society.
The Holy Qur’an beautifully states: “And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you love and mercy.” (Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)
This verse reflects that marriage and family ties are not merely social arrangements, but divine blessings a source of love, peace, and compassion. Islam sanctifies relationships within the boundaries of morality and faith, protecting their purity and social stability.The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Paradise lies beneath the feet of your mother.” (Sunan an-Nasa’i) He also emphasized: “A true believer is one from whose tongue and hands others are safe.” (Sahih Bukhari)
These teachings highlight the importance of respect, patience, and moral conduct within the family.In the modern age, the misuse of mobile phones, the internet, and social media has deeply affected our traditional family structure. While technology has brought knowledge and communication closer, it has also led to moral decline and social disintegration. Many young people, caught up in online friendships and emotional attachments, make hasty decisions leading to serious consequences.Islam recognizes the concept of marriage by choice but within the boundaries of morality, faith, and parental consultation. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you with a proposal, then marry your daughter to him.” (Jami‘ at-Tirmidhi)
This hadith clarifies that Islam allows mutual consent but demands that decisions be made with wisdom, respect for parents, and adherence to religious principles.Unfortunately, in our society, many young girls elope or enter court marriages without family consent. In several such cases, they become victims of fraud, deceit, and exploitation. Some are blackmailed or abandoned, and others face social disgrace, leading to mental breakdowns or even suicide. These incidents destroy not only individual lives but also weaken the moral fabric of the family and society.Social media has become a breeding ground for fake affection, temporary relationships, and immoral conduct. Fake identities, online manipulation, and emotional exploitation have ruined countless homes. Islam, on the other hand, teaches modesty, dignity, and moral restraint. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:“Modesty is a part of faith.”(Sahih Muslim)
The Qur’an warns:“Satan commands you only to evil and indecency.”(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:268)
To strengthen our family system and protect future generations, a few practical steps are necessary:
- Parents should build friendly yet respectful relationships with their children and guide them with love and understanding.
- Educational institutions must include moral and ethical education and awareness about the responsible use of technology.
- Youth should be educated about online dangers, privacy, and the consequences of digital exploitation.
- Marriage decisions must include family consultation and religious guidance to ensure stability and mutual respect.
- Laws against blackmailing, sexual exploitation, and online harassment should be strictly enforced to safeguard victims and deter offenders.
In conclusion, Islam does not oppose love it refines and dignifies it through marriage. True love flourishes within the boundaries of faith, respect, and commitment. When love becomes blind passion without guidance, it leads to ruin; but when nurtured through values and morality, it becomes a source of peace and harmony.A strong family system, built upon faith and respect, is the foundation of a healthy society. It is our collective responsibility to protect it for the generations to come.
